Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Compulsive Psycho-Analyst

Well I havent been updating coz ive been doing all sorts of things lately, it HAS been a rather hectic time for me.

This post has nothing to do with any of my previous works, or anything as equally substantial to that. Its about something I've been meaning to channel since weeks now;

Have you ever had the feeling that you know too much? Some that you actually don't even want to know and wished you didn't. Have you ever had that like 50 times in a row?

Well I do.

I get to know all these things I'm not supposed to through various means and mediums, mostly from the compulsive psycho-analysis that's becoming like a fetish that I somehow developed from my studies in film.

You see, general opinion would think that learning film is all about the technical stuff, (lights, camera, editing, directing, pre-production, production, post-production yadayadayada) and I believe most institution even really practise that kind of film learning.

But where I end up to study is all about the appreatiation of film arts, in which might be not too wrong to say as - About the existence of people, about the sensual, sensitive nature of being a human being. and this, if you ask me, requires a lot of psycho-analysis.

So as i go on with this new compulsion of mine, I find that I'm understanding more about people, and its annoying how perfectly close I am to precise. How do I know this?

Facial articulation, tone of voice, involuntary body languange and at a certain extent, I just know, I have no specific solid proof whatsoever but I just do.

And later, God has HIS own way to somehow prove me right (as I rarely disclose what I find), and I curse myself for this! And its never easy to disclose what I figured out - so it's agonizing!

So yeah, stay away from me, because I might read you like a book.